9:41 PMi wanted to be there but i failed. (this note was written in december of 2024) i feel like im just a person whos tried so hard for a long time and that i genuinely needed to find a purpose i love like - making music, writing shit i like, get married, bringing peace in a personality that would come with, with that music persona that could be the trend for this shit world but now i dont really know about this. im really ashamed of myself for ruining my life over this dumb shit on an online thing. people are gonna say "man up", "thug it out", "be thankful for what you have". but honestly nothing makes sense anymore. im just declassified to as weird now. i have no purpose to serve besides being a burden to other people who dont see me as a good guy anymore. and thats okay, sometimes weird people dont gotta walk on this earth anymore. before anyone says "they were just people" they were meaningful people whos impacted my life in positive ways such as this moment. i wish i can rewind back time to where i felt respected, i even bet theres not just one person who doesnt just fuck with me anymore but 10 people maybe? if you were there then im sure you would know. enough of the yapping though. i appreciate the people who have helped me in my inspirations like tyler, kanye before he went insane, kendrick, pharrell, donald glover. thats pretty much. there was this one girl who i wanted to be with - no ill intentions just some i saw more than just looks and personality, damn it was beautiful too. she sees me as weird now so thats another reason----- didnt even get to finish my favorite anime. background music created by me (4/9/25)